Tea Stands For Trouble
by kashiangel07
Summary: The request was simple, fulfilling it was the difficult part. One-shot crack fic.


**HAPPY MAMA'S DAY TO ALL YOU MAMAS! **

Especially you Teensie-sama, this one's for you because you kinda gave me the idea after you reviewed the latest chapter of 'What Luck.' Because this is a mother's day fic, who better to write about other than the queen bitch herself.

Actually this story was supposed to be about Kagome doing a bunch of other stuff for the female inu but it just kept going on with her toiling over the demand for tea which is why it's name the way it's named. Although it's not exactly how I thought it was going to go, it came out great anyway (at least it's alright with me).

Oh and it's rated as it is only because of the very beginning and because of some curses. Then there's also the fact that I've taken to calling Sesshomaru's mother Ai, only because it's an ironic name for her character so anytime I have her in a story, well...you know why.

Well hope you enjoy this little crack fic, I sure did have fun writing it.

* * *

**Tea Stands For Trouble  
**  
It seemed like another ordinary day at the Taisho condo, well… it almost was. There was a large lump in the middle of the bed in the master bed room and ever so slowly, it moved. A soft growl came from under the blankets covering the lump and then a giggle that faded into a soft moan.

"Okay Sesshomaru, that's enough. I'm still sore and don't think I could even move at the moment." Kagome said in a slightly horse voice as she pealed the blanket from her face.

She frowned at the sound of her voice and sighed when she realized that the damage had been done. She knew that she shouldn't have agreed to watch a movie at her boyfriend's place. Every time he made a suggestion about going to his place after their date, they ended up right where they were now. Nude, sweaty, sticky, and sore… well she was the only sore one but she was going to make Sesshomaru would feel the pain she was feeling if he didn't stop trying to arouse her.

"Hn, you don't need to move anyway." Sesshomaru replied huskily against her chest as he looked up while kissing her skin.

Her resolve was slipping with every touch and kiss he was giving her. She sometimes cursed his sexiness, he could always make her agree to what he wanted. And with his sexual appetite as large as it is, she could barely keep him fed. If he could, he would keep her chained to the bed for all eternity. Well not this time, she was sure that her mother was worried about her. Oh what was the excuse was she going to have to tell the frantic woman now. She told every lie that she could come up with and she could tell that her mother was getting suspicious. The last time she encountered this problem, she had to sneak in her mother's room to use her makeup, since Kagome doesn't use any, in order to hide her hickies and was caught leaving.

She figured that it won't be long until her mother figured that she wasn't a virgin anymore. Kagome was sure that she would get her ears talked off about that she knew better being raised on a shrine and should have waited until she was married. Even if she knew that Sesshomaru loved her and vice versa, the woman was just worried about her getting pregnant and having a responsibility she wasn't ready to deal with.

Deep down, Kagome could see the distrust that her mother had for the youkai. First off, they were complete opposites especially the obvious thing that he's a demon and she's a miko. Then her mother was skeptical about men in general. The first man she was with, left her after finding out that she was pregnant with a girl (the ass wanted a boy) and then she divorced the other who cheated on her when she was pregnant with Sota (the relationship was bad anyway).

Kagome didn't have to worry because she could read Sesshomaru like an open book and know his true feelings. The feelings that only she was able to see. She knew that he was 100 percent hers just as she was his. She wouldn't be surprised if he asked her to marry him soon.

"Sess, as tempting as you are, I'm going to have to pass. You know my mother is worried as hell being that I haven't talked to her since I left the house yesterday. Besides, this is the first time I didn't sneak back so she might be calling the cops to file a 'missing persons' report." She said as she tried to get up.

Sesshomaru pushed her back down and then went to suckle on her tender breast while saying between his teeth, "You would have thought that she caught on by now with how long have we been going at it now."

Kagome questioned that as well but she would always let it pass, half because she couldn't think because of his ministrations. Somehow she cleared enough fog from her mind to place her hands on the sides of his face and make him look at her.

"Sess, I'm serious."

He placed his hands over hers and sighed in defeat seeing her determined look. "Fine, but she will find out eventually."

"Yes, I know, but now is not the time."

He came up to kiss her slow and gentle, just the way she liked it. It was her favorite type of kiss because it showed just how sensual, loving, and patient he was. She stopped kissing him upon hearing his doorbell ring. Sesshomaru didn't move however and when it was evident that he wanted to keep going, she pulled back and said,

"Sess, there's someone at your door."

He kissed down to her neck and mumbled, "I know, I heard them outside before they rang the bell."

"Well, aren't you going to answer it?"

He sighed and said, "I don't really want to. I rather stay in bed with you but..."

"But it would be rude to ignore other company." Kagome finished for him.

He looked at her while shaking his head and said, "No, it's not that. If I don't, _she'll_ find another way to come in."

Kagome was shocked at what he said then she narrowed her eyes at him and growled, "Sesshomaru Taisho, are you going behind my back with some other woman."

Kagome turned her head when he went to kiss her lips. He then sighed again and said, "Kagome, you know that I would never do that."

"Then who is this woman that's at your door?"

The moment Kagome finished saying that, the bedroom door burst open and there stood a very livid looking inu youkai with long silver tresses in pigtails and her pale yellow eyes narrowed at the two. She growled low as she gave an intimidating stair to the woman under the male which made said woman cringe.

"I thought I smelled vermin. What is the meaning of this pup?"

Kagome was embarrassed to have their privacy ruined by this female and was about to give her a piece of her mind when Sesshomaru spoke. "Mother, this is Kagome, the woman that I'm courting. Kagome this is my mother. Now if you could please excuse us for a moment, we would both like to shower and get dressed."

**_~T~S~F~T~_**

Clean, dressed, and feeling a bit less mortified, Kagome followed Sesshomaru to the living room where the female inu, that she was informed was named Ai, was waiting. She didn't look at the demoness but she could feel her cold eyes on her, now she knew where Sesshomaru got his death glare from as she never seen his father look at anyone coldly although she was sure he could be just as bad being the strong youkai and business man he is now.

"Now explain to me why you have…" Ai looked Kagome up and down before continuing with, "…this **wench** here again."

Kagome's eyes widened, how dare she called her a wench. If anyone was a wench it was definitely her. She calmed herself down wanting to make a good first impression to her, after all first impressions so last. She looked up to the demoness and smiled sweetly and said just as sweet, "Actually, it's Kagome, not wench, and I'm his girlfriend."

"I spoke not to you but to my son, it would be wise for you to be silent and only speak when spoken to." She said in a calm tone with a bit of warning.

Okay, Kagome had to admit that she shouldn't have said anything when the question wasn't directed to her but she felt that Ai was talking to Sesshomaru as if she wasn't there.

"As _Kagome_ stated," Sesshomaru said emphasizing the name, "she is my girlfriend."

The demoness sat back, eyes narrowed down on Kagome again as she said, "That filthy whore is your **girlfriend?** You could have done better Sesshomaru. Really, a human of all things to be your intended."

Kagome had to ball her hands to keep her anger in check. It wouldn't be right for her to chew the demoness out when she was going to be, unfortunately, her future mother-in-law.

"Fine, but I don't believe that she is worthy of the name Taisho…"

"I **am** worthy of the name Taisho and I can prove it!" Kagome said unknowingly digging her grave.

She realized her outburst and wanted to take her words back when she one of Ai's slender silver eyebrows rise. The demoness looked like she was waiting for her to say that.

"Really now." She said with a sadistic smile. It was obvious to Kagome where Sesshomaru received his quirks now. "Why don't you fix this mother some tea?"

Sesshomaru's eyes widened a fraction already knowing what was to happen. He was about to speak when Ai locked eyes with him warning him not to say a word.

Kagome looked at her wondering if that was it but she couldn't get rid of that foreboding feeling that this was going to be much harder that it seemed.

"Get going now." Ai said while making a gesture of shooing her away.

Kagome turned and walked into the kitchen grinding her teeth together. Well if the bitch wanted tea, she was going to get the best damn tea to ever hit her taste buds.

She looked to where she knew where Sesshomaru kept the tea. He liked a large variety of teas from around the world and both of their favorites were raspberry. If it was his favorite then it had to be his mother's favorite as well, or at least she hoped so.

Kagome brewed up enough tea for everyone and set three cups on a tray to pour the tea in. She walked into the living room with a smile on her face then handed Ai a cup. Ai looked down into the tea as Kagome gave Sesshomaru his cup. The tea did have a nice smell to it but…

"Throw it away."

Kagome looked up to the demoness with confusion. "Wha?"

Ai glared at her and held the cup up and said, "I do **not** repeat myself but because you have inferior hearing vermin, I shall only do so once. Throw. It. Away."

Kagome realized that she was talking about the tea. The very tea that she put her heart into making was to be thrown away.

"B-b-but you didn't even **taste** it and my name is _Kagome._"

Ai set the cup down and looked at Sesshomaru to tell him silently to not drink a single sip.

"I care not of your name and I don't need to taste it. I do not drink low grade tea. Give me green tea."

Kagome sat still for a second then nodded then picked up the cups. She then walked back in the kitchen upset that she would have to brew up another batch of tea. She looked at her raspberry tea and decided to save it for later instead of dumping it out. She didn't care what the bitch said, she knew that the tea was good. She poured the old tea in another container and placed it in the refrigerator before looking for the green tea. After finding that, she brewed it up and served it in the same manner only to receive the same rejection.

"It's green tea. You asked for it, I made it." Kagome said through her teeth.

"Yes, I asked for green tea but it is not the type of green tea I drink. Throw it away and bring me what I want, although I do doubt that filthy creature like you could comprehend anything as you got it wrong twice in a row."

She felt a vain pop as Ai held the cup up for her. Kagome nearly snatched it out of her hand as she turned to go back in the kitchen. Sesshomaru looked to his mother, a small glare was directed at her.

"What, you know well how I am pup." She said as she shrugged.

Sesshomaru just stood up and went into the kitchen. He saw Kagome leaning over the sink and went over to calm her. Wrapping his arms around her waist he growled low and nuzzled her neck.

"I figured your mother would be… _difficult_ but not like this." Kagome said tiredly.

"Have patience and everything will be fine." He said as he kissed her cheek.

"I have patience but it's wearing thin." She then turned to him with a glare and said, "And **you're** not helping me either. You're just sitting there while she's treating me like shit."

"She is my mother, what am I supposed to do?"

"Help me, that's what. I'm not a mind reader, Sesshomaru. You could at least tell me what damn tea she wants."

Sesshomaru then looked back before saying. "The type of tea she wants is tenbu green tea."

Kagome went to the cabinet and said, "Thanks, now all I need to do is find…"

"I don't have it."

Kagome snapped her eyes to him hoping that she didn't hear what she thought she heard.

"That tea is extremely rare so it's nearly impossible to find. I haven't had it in years."

Kagome slid down the counter until she was on the floor. Now how was she to please Ai? She didn't want to know what would happen if she went back in and said that there was no tea. Suddenly a thought came to her.

"Your father!"

Sesshomaru raised a questionable eyebrow before asking, "What about the old mongrel?"

Kagome rolled her eyes and said, "You know your father keeps rare things, maybe he has it."

She then quickly stood up and ran out the condo while grabbing her keys and left out. Ai looked to the door with large eyes as she barely caught Kagome going out of it. She never thought that she could see a human move so fast.

"Look at what you've done mother. You made her even more stressed than she was before." Sesshomaru said as he once again glared at Ai. "If she…"

Ai cut him off by chuckling and leveling him with a stair as she said, "Relax pup, you know what your mother wants and I always get what I want."

**_~T~S~F~T~_**

Kagome arrived at Taisho Manor in a matter of minutes and jumped out her car to rush up to the door. She nearly beat the door down.

"Such demanding knocks for someone so small, what is the trouble my dear?" An older version of Sesshomaru asked with a laugh when he opened the door.

"Tea, I need tea!" Kagome blurted out hysterically.

Toga nearly laughed at the girl he always thought of as a daughter. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and walked her inside.

"Let me guess, my mate has made a surprise visit to my eldest and demands to have her favorite tea served." He said as they stood in the foyer.

Kagome looked up to him wondering if he could read her mind, he could always tell what someone wanted or needed.

"Yes and I am _this_ close to just pouring whatever tea I made on her head." She said as she nearly had her thumb and index finger together to show him that she was ready to snap on the demoness.

Toga shook his head with a small smile on his face. "Ah, she is a picky one indeed. She only drinks one kind of tea and I always have it stored in case of emergency."

Kagome's eyes lit up and she jumped the inu to give him a hug. "Gimmie!"

Toga laughed and walked off with her attached to him. "Right this way then."

Unfortunately, what he thought he had, well…

"I'm sorry my dear Kagome but it seems that I'm out." Toga said as he came out of his cabinets empty-handed. "Must have forgotten to restock after the last time she stopped by a few months ago."

Kagome looked as if she was about to rip her hair out but Toga placed his hands on her shoulder and said, "Do not fear, I know of an old friend of mine that might have what you're looking for."

Kagome got the instructions and was set to go the forest that was beyond her home which was at the city limits. She didn't even know that someone lived out in those woods but she hoped that she would get what she wanted from them. After turning on an old dirt road and driving down a twisted path for almost thirty minutes, until she came upon a small cottage on side of a small creek. Outside the house was a beautiful garden. Kagome felt tranquil being in front of the house and she believed that all her troubles were melting away.

"State ye business." Kagome was snapped out by an elderly voice. In front of her was a short, stout woman with gray hair and an eye patch.

Kagome bowed to her and said, "I apologize for intruding on your property but I'm in need of tea. I was told that you may have what I'm looking for."

The woman looked her up and down before saying, "Ye must be the girl that Lord Toga told me to keep an eye out for. I am Kaede by the way. I have many varieties of tea among my garden, which are ye looking for?"

Kagome smiled, yes this woman would be the key to her sanity.

"I need tenbu."

Kaede nodded in understanding and said, "I see, Lady Ai must have returned. It is only when she is in town that there is a demand for that type of tea."

Kagome breathed out a sigh in relief and said, "Oh please can I have some?"

The woman looked down, closed her eyes and shook her head no. "I'm sorry child but I have harvested that tea and sold it to a partner of mine."

Kagome's head dropped and shoulders slumped in defeat. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up in the comforting face of Kaede. She assured her that her partner would gladly share the tea knowing that it's for something such as this. After getting the directions of where to find where to go this time, she left.

**_~T~S~F~T~_**

Sesshomaru was starting to worry about his little female. He hasn't seen her in almost two hours. He looked to the source of their troubles to find her deeply into some youkai soap opera. He still couldn't believe that she was into that type of stuff but seeing that her eyes were glued to the screen, he snuck away to his bedroom to call Kagome.

He waited for her to pick the phone up and received a frantic sounding hello.

"Kagome, where are you?"

_"I'amheadingovertoateahousetogetthatfuckingtea!"_ Kagome blurted out all together.

It took a second for Sesshomaru to think over and understand what she said but when he did understand, he rubbed his temples and said, "Kagome, there is really…"

_"Don't you dare tell me that there's no need. When I get that tea, I want to rub it in that bitch's face._

Sesshomaru sometimes hated when Kagome became like this. She always overreacted when she was determined to complete a hard task.

"Okay, just stay calm…"

_"Calm, I am calm!"_ She growled then hung up the phone.

Sesshomaru just looked at the phone after hearing the annoying buzz sounding on the phone telling him that the call was over. He growled low in his throat, the females in his life was just so hardheaded.

Well there was nothing he could really do but let everything take its course. And to think that the day started off so perfect.

**_~T~S~F~T~_**

Kagome threw the phone on the passenger seat then breathed out a frustrated sigh. She didn't mean to take her anger out on Sesshomaru. She would make it up for him later but right now she was a woman on a mission.

She had to drive thirty miles and up a mountain but it would be worth it to finally have her prize. The tea house seemed to have quite a few guest there already so it must have been very popular, maybe after all this was over, she could get Sesshomaru to come with her. Then again, after this horrid day, maybe sake would be better.

She went in and asked to see the manager and soon in front of her was a bald, bug eyed demon who she heard was named Totosai.

"Although you don't look like a geisha you're still hot, the job is yours." He said as he looked her up and down.

"N-no, I'm sorry sir but I'm not here for a job, I was just wondering if I could acquire some tea." Kagome said as she shook her hands in front of her.

Totosai looked up with a finger at his chin thinking, "Well if you wanted some tea, you didn't have to ask for me. One of the servers could have sat you at a table and took your order."

"No, I don't want to get served, I just need to get some tea."

He then looked at her with one eye as he said. "You don't want to be served… but you want some tea?"

Kagome nodded hoping that he understood her.

He stood up strait and scratched his head, "You're a confusing one. What kind of woman wants tea but says that she doesn't?"

"No, what I mean is that, I don't want a table, but I need to get some tea from you. Your partner, Kaede told me that she gave you some tenbu, I'm in need of it and you have it."

The old demon looked up in thought again and said, "Yes, I do have that tea in stock."

Kagome felt like a great weight was lifted from her shoulders.

"Great, I would like some please."

"That will be 3,900.00 yen."

Kagome's eyes went wide in shock. That was a lot for some measly tea. Well, it was rare. She sighed and went to reach for her purse only to realize that she didn't bring it. She forgot to bring it.

"Damn it all. That crazy bitch made me forget it." Kagome said as she punched the wall behind her and hurting her hand in the process.

"Crazy bitch?" Totosai questioned. "What do you need this tea for exactly?"

Once Kagome told him her story, he quickly led her to his storage.

"Here, take it for free. I know how nerve racking Lady Ai can be. If you need anymore, I will be glad to personally send it to you."

Kagome smiled, hugged, and kissed him on his head before leaving.

"Those inu males always get the good looking chicks." He mumbled as he watched her leave.

**_~T~S~F~T~_**

The door opened and there stood Kagome, tired but victorious as she walked into the kitchen. Sesshomaru stood up leaving his mother who was now watching a youkai talk show and went to his girlfriend's side.

"Kagome, you should rest now…"

She turned to look at him with a cold glare and hissed. He simply backed away from her and went back to the living room. He wasn't scared, Sesshomaru Taisho is never scared, he was just being wise… or at least that's what he kept telling to himself.

Kagome finished up the tea and served it. Ai looked down at the tea, it was a deep-green color and it smelled incredibly floral. Kagome watched as she tasted it and close her eyes to savor it.

"It is acceptable, I guess." That was fine for Kagome. After all she went through to…

"I no longer wish to have tea. Throw it away. Maybe you are efficient in your cooking, why don't you bring me a meal wench."

Kagome's jaw drop and her eye twitch. Her hand balled up into a fist tightly, and her blood boiled. Sesshomaru placed his hands on her shoulder to try and calm her but when he touched her she slammed her hands on the coffee table in front of her, the vibration was enough to tip the cups over.

"Look here, I have had all I can take from you. I don't care who the fuck you are, you do **not** invade our privacy then order me around like I'm your fucking slave!"

Kagome then stood up and continued with, "And another thing, I have a name and it's Kagome, Ka-go-me! Maybe I should stoop to your level and call you names ay bitch, and I **don't** mean that as a female dog term."

Ai stood up and came face to face with her. A snarl came from her as her eyes flashed red and her demon energy rolled off her before she calmly asked, "Are you challenging me?"

"Yes I am and don't doubt me because I'm no ordinary human." Kagome said. Her blue eyes glowed a shade lighter as her miko energy filled the room.

Ai lifted a hand, her claws were extended and glowing green with poison. She watched Kagome intently hoping to see her flinch but when she didn't detect any sign of fear she lowered her hand and smiled a genuine smile. Kagome was confused by the female inu but didn't let her guard down as she watched her look past her to see her tense boyfriend.

"You've done well son."

Sesshomaru released his held breath as he said, "As I stated, you didn't need to do this."

"I know but you know me. I had to make sure as nothing is too good for my son."

Kagome looked between the two demons wondering just what the hell was going on.

"I apologize for my harshness Kagome but I had to test you." Ai said as she turned her attention to the woman in front of her.

"Test me… wait a minute, you said my name." Kagome said, not believing what she was hearing.

"Yes, yes you see, I heard a lot about you but when I got word that my Sesshomaru was planning to marry and mate you, I just knew it was too good to be true as he is not an easy one to please."

Kagome looked back to Sesshomaru and ask, "You're going to ask me to marry you?"

Sesshomaru sighed as he stood up and bought her in his arms. "Yes, I am. Although **I** wanted to be the one to give you the news."

Ai rolled her eyes when she heard her son emphasize 'I.' She waved an uncaring hand and said, "She was going to know anyway, it's not my fault that I was quicker in saying it."

Sesshomaru shook his head before Ai continued, "Anyway, it was my duty to test out the intended mate of my son. Every great Taisho male needs an equal female especially the one that is to mate the heir. The female must be strong, determined, and most important of all, a total bitch when pushed too far. She has to look danger in the eye and take it head on. You have proved yourself well, Kagome."

Kagome smiled happy that she was deemed worthy in the eyes of her lover's mother.

"I have to admit, I was a bit skeptic about him finding his own mate…"

"A bit?" Sesshomaru questioned with a raised brow.

His mother rolled her eyes again then continued with, "Okay, I didn't like it, but I didn't want him to end up just as I and his father either if I arranged him to marry. Both of us were miserable together and as soon as Sesshomaru could walk, we separated."

She then backed up and stood next to the door. "I am proud that our clan will continue to be strong especially since I'm sure a miko will give some advantages to the future pups."

Kagome blushed at her last comment while Sesshomaru stiffened.

"Well, I'm off now, don't forget to invite me to the wedding, if you don't, I'll just crash it." Ai said as she opened the door and stepped out. Before she closed it, she said over her shoulder, "Oh and don't forget to invite me to the baby shower as well. I want to make sure that my future grand-pups will be completely spoiled even before they're born."

Kagome nodded while Sesshomaru took a step away.

Suddenly a thought occurred to her or more like something that Ai said, "Baby shower? We're not having any kids anytime soon right Sesshomaru."

Sesshomaru strode over to the bedroom but froze when he heard his name.

"Sesshomaru?" Kagome questioned him.

He simply turned while still backing to the bedroom and said, "Yea, we're not having them anytime soon but later…"

Kagome's eyes went wide and that's when Sesshomaru quickly closed himself in the room.

"You got me pregnant!" She shrieked while stalking to the room.

"I was going to tell you." He said through the door.

"When, were you going to tell me when I got as big as a **fucking house!?"** Kagome growled when she stood in front of the door.

"Please calm down, you don't need to stress yourself anymore than you are now. I was going to tell you after the wedding. You did tell me that your mother wanted you married before you had children and I want to respect her wish."

Kagome calmed down and when Sesshomaru felt that, he came out. "But still you could have told me, I wouldn't be mad but if my mother found out…"

She went silent and Sesshomaru shook her lightly to hopefully bring her back. "Kagome…"

"Aw shit it, I forgot about my mother, she's going to kill me!"


End file.
